


Deck the Dwarf

by Viscariafields



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Modern AU, Tumblr Prompt, ugly sweater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:07:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27999501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Viscariafields/pseuds/Viscariafields
Summary: The tumblr prompt was "Adding extra tinsel and baubles to an ugly Christmas sweater."
Relationships: Dorian Pavus/Varric Tethras
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Deck the Dwarf

Dorian hummed his approval as he put the finishing touches on the sweater. It was just the perfect level of atrocious. The garish, clashing colors and patterns. The little jingly bells sewn just so around the hem, sure to drive anyone with ears mad. And last, the tinsel, silver and gold, crinkly, and threaded in deep vee down from the high collar.

The recipient of the sweater was certain to hate it.

Dorian couldn’t wait.

“What is _that_?” Cassandra asked from the hall. Dressed in all black, a sprig of holly tucked in her braid was her only nod to the holiday.

“This is my masterpiece. The ugliest sweater ever created.”

She scoffed. “It doesn’t look like it will fit you.”

“It’s not for me. It’s a gift.”

“It looks more like a punishment.”

“Sometimes, I find, they are the same thing.”

Cassandra snorted.

“You really can’t tell who it’s for?” Dorian asked, eying the garment critically. He should have thought it would be obvious.

“Not even Solas would wear a sweater that ugly.”

“The general shape of it doesn’t remind you of anyone?”

The embroidery around the false collar was flawless, but perhaps he hadn’t added enough tinsel. He began threading more at the lowest part of the vee. More gold than silver, a sort of improvised salt and pepper to the crinkly monstrosity. No doubt if the wind blew, all the little tinsel ends would dance in it.

Cassandra let out a disgusted sigh. “No,” she grumbled, “That is terrible.”

“Oh, yes,” he agreed.

“You did _not_ give him tinsel chest hair.”

“I most certainly did.”

“He will hate it.”

“He will love it,” Dorian purred, finally satisfied with the end result.

She nodded morosely. “He will love it.” She grabbed her purse and tapped her boot on the floor meaningfully. “Couldn’t you find a more normal way to flirt with him? I do not want to look at that horrible thing all evening.”

“I have no idea what you are talking about, and perhaps you just shouldn’t look at him then.”

Cassandra snorted, the third time in this exchange, and Dorian lovingly folded the sweater into the gift bag. He could not wait to see Varric don his hideous apparel. “Let’s jolly well get on with it, shall we?”

**Author's Note:**

> "Deck the Dwarf" as in "Deck the Halls" and not "hit Varric." No, Dorian will be hitting ON Varric, except he'll actually just continue elaborately flirting with him.


End file.
